Unable to sleep, I rolled onto my right shoulder, finding myself face to face with the back of the woman I love’s head. I tried to put my finger on the event that started it all, but was unable to come up with anything specific. I do know however, that if the dirty dishes still sitting on the kitchen table had ears, they would most definitely be ringing all through the night.
I just don’t understand it; I said to myself, everything was going so well. Was she right? Was she telling the truth? I know that sometimes confusion turns to frustration, frustration to anger, and anger to untrue generalizations, but what I don’t know is whether or not this was one of those situations.
“Do you love me?” I said in a barely audible whisper. The sound of my voice was so out of place and unexpected that I found myself startled, looking briefly around the room for someone else. I waited patiently for a response, but heard only silence. I stared at her for longer and pictured her smile.
“Do you love me?” I said again, this time a little louder than before. Again I waited, but heard no response. I closed my eyes and imagined embracing her in my arms, squeezing her with all my strength until our bodies fused together as one.
“Do you love me?” I said again, a little louder still. I waited for quite some time for a response but heard only the sound of her breathing across the top of the pillow. I shut my eyes and tried to re-live the first time we touched. I remember the look of excitement on both our faces, and the electricity between our fingertips that surged down both our spines; our eyes open wide and bright, as if we had just discovered something life changing.
All of a sudden I heard her slowly draw in a deep breath, only to let it out a second or two later. With her eyes still closed and her mouth slightly ajar, she rolled onto her left shoulder. “Did you say something to me?” she said in my direction, her eyelids still barely touching. “I love you,” I said to her abruptly, before she could finish sounding out the last word of her sentence. “Oh,” she said “that’s nice.”
She rolled back onto her right shoulder and within seconds, fell asleep.
For the rest of the night, I laid awake. Alone.
